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“That’s what is healthy and long lasting and will also most benefit you, your partner, and the relationship." Not everyone has anxiety, but pretty much all of us come to a new relationship with some form of baggage in tow. No, seriously, what do you struggle with in meaningful relationships and life?
So exercise a little empathy, Gilliland recommends.
You put yourself out there and that’s what matters. Step 4: Be curious Finally, often on first or second dates, people are so nervous about being interesting that they forget to be interested in their date. Laura Heck is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Salt Lake City. Her work includes couples therapy, online counseling, workshops, speaking engagements, teaching for The Gottman Institute (TGI) and co-founder of for Better.
There may be times when your partner is so overwhelmed by anxiety, they may act in a way that seems irrational to you (crying, yelling, talking in circles).
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(They're already worried that their behavior will drive you away, don't fuel the fire.)Instead, take a deep breath, remember that your partner is in pain, and stay calm.
Validate how they're feeling and listen to what's going on.